This is the will of God, your sanctification. 1 Thessalonians 4:3

We talk about God’s will like it is so hard to interpret. “I wish God would just put His will right in front of me!” Well…. He kind of did. This is the will of God for you, your sanctification. I’ve heard people say about marriage, “It’s so hard to know if she’s the right one. I wish God would just put her right in front of me!” Well, ….. He kind of did that before, too. He made Adam. He made Eve from Adam. He gave Eve to Adam. “Here she is Adam. She is literally the one…. The only one. I made her for you.” I wonder if Adam, after he listened to the voice of Eve and sinned with her, thought, “Man, I probably didn’t marry the right one.” We actually see Adam in Scripture audibly doubting God’s good choice for him when, in defending himself, Adam blames his sin on “that woman You gave to me!”

The Bible is filled with instances when God literally put His will right in front of the faces of His people. And somehow they still find a way to mess it up. It’s easy to point our fingers to those biblical accounts and laugh at their lack of sight when God did such obvious things for them. “Yes, Israel, you are where you need to be because you aren’t slaves anymore and God is giving you food from the sky! Here’s your sign.” The truth is that we do the exact same thing. God has paraded His will for us in front of our very eyes (This is the will of God, your sanctification), and yet we sit back and we wonder what the will of God for us is. He has already told us.

In my own life over the past few weeks I’ve noticed this very thing happening when the Holy Spirit is working to convict me of areas where I need to grow in holiness. So often, instead of humbly submitting to the conviction of specific sin in my own life, I shift the blame to someone else’s sin in their life. “It’s not me. It’s that person You put in my life.” God is working in my life to reveal places where I need to grow in Christ – likeness. And yet when I feel that conviction, I start noticing what other people need to be doing in their lives to grow in Christ – likeness. But the truth is that when I start looking first for the things that other people need to be doing in their lives to pursue sanctification, I am not pursuing the will of God for my own life: my own sanctification.

Marriage and parenting are really great at giving me the opportunity to become painfully aware of my own sin. Did having a spouse make me a selfish person all of the sudden? No, but it revealed how selfish I already was. Did becoming a mom instantly make me into an impatient person? No, but it did reveal how impatient I already was.

Jordan may, out of genuine kindness to help me, and out of love for me, randomly start doing the dishes. Instead of feeling immediate gratitude my initial feeling is defensiveness. “Does he think I wasn’t going to do that? Does he think I wasn’t doing my chores fast enough? He thinks I’m lazy!” When my immediate response to a situation is to ask questions about his heart and not my own heart, I know that I am not pursuing the will of God for me: my own sanctification.

I am not completely conformed to Christ. If I am aware of that, I should not be shocked when something is actually my fault. If I am well aware of the fact that I am not “all there,” the first questions I ask should always be about my own heart: “Why did I respond to that situation in such a way? Why did that produce anger in me?” Before I think about what God needs to do in someone else’s life, I should be asking “What is God doing in my life?” These are good questions to ask. James sets the model for us!

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. James 4:1-2

When we see ourselves having an ungodly outward response to something, it is good to ask questions about our hearts. The situation that caused our sinful response isn’t the primary problem. The heart that produced the sinful response is the problem. The Bible teaches us that what comes out of us is an overflow of what is already in us. A good tree bears good fruit. A bad tree bears bad fruit. What comes out of our mouth is a reflection of what is already in our hearts. So, as I once heard a wise teacher say, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said!” isn’t an accurate analysis of our own sin. It would be more accurate to say, “I’m sorry for saying exactly what I meant.” When we fail to to ask questions about our hearts we are disregarding the will of God for our lives: our own sanctification. God has called us to holiness. When I disregard holiness, I am really ultimately showing disregard for God. And that’s a big problem.

For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you. 1 Thessalonians 4:7-8